Monday, June 15, 2009

Will I ever blog again?

I've been spending most of my time working, and by the time I get home, the last thing I feel like doing is blogging. My work days are typically 10 hours long now, and while the time flies by because I have so much to do, I can't say that I am enjoying myself. I miss the days of part-time work and full-time caching, and now I have just devolved into a gigantically fat and out-of-shape workaholic. The weather has SUCKED OUT LOUD for MONTHS here, and as a result, Dan and I are just plain fat. I used to be fat but not too out of shape, and now I should lie down and die. Except that I don't have enough energy to get up in the first place. Naturally this has lead to depression which leads to ice cream which leads to fat which leads to depression and do you see where I am going with this? The fact that it has rained in some capacity 23 out of the past 26 days has not helped. June is half over, and summer is nowhere in sight. And since I live for summer, I am near suicidal.

One of these days, I'll post something happy! Today is not that day. I hate the freaking Cape of Cod. And I really thought I was going to love it. But I don't. And I'm trapped. And Dan loves it. And his job. And I don't. And if our marriage doesn't work out, it will be because I had to move to Hawaii once and for all, and he won't come with me. (Not to worry, Dan and I are fine, he's great, but with every passing year it becomes SO APPARENT that 90% of my unhappiness is weather-related - I LIVE for heat, so I am in the WRONG place - but Dan won't move away because of family, so I'm fucked, as usual.)

Anyway, sorry that I am crabby. I swear I'm not always crabby - but when I am happy, I am usually doing something that keeps me away from the computer!