Friday, January 30, 2009

Random Updates

I have the attention span of a fly today, so it's all about the bullets.

  • Mattress - went with the queen, and I'm almost wishing I bought the king. For as wonderful as my relationship with Dan is, we don't sleep as well together as we might. I am a horribly restless sleeper, and my constant up and down is a pain. He's a blanket hog - to the point that we have separate blankets, or else I end up naked in the middle of the night. We both snore, but since he sleeps like the dead, his snoring bothers me more than mine bothers him. But, the mattress is really comfy, and I have slept slightly better on some nights - and if I am awake, I am at least not uncomfortable while I lie there fuming. Both of our backs feel much better as well.
  • Winter - I hate it and my nerves are about shot. Hate it.
  • Work - was getting better, but lately has been miserable, and is keeping me up most nights.
  • Facebook - takes up more time than I care to admit - when I'm home, I'm on it. But at least it's fun.
  • Hobbies - I haven't had the energy for much, but I have done a bit more geocaching lately, and I have two photos showing this coming month in a juried show - the opening is Sunday, and I'm excited. I'll let you know if I win anything!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


I fully admit that up until today, I had not been overly "connected" to this election, what it may mean for the country, or what it means to me personally. Don't get me wrong - I excitedly cast my vote in November for Obama, I hoped and prayed that he would win, and I have waited eight long years for that twit to return to Texas. I have been appalled by the ignorance and hubris displayed by this last administration, I have suffered along with friends and family in this dismal economy, and I have felt endless frustration with the nonsensical cries of "patriotism" as countless men, women, and children of all stripes have been blown to bits in a ridiculous war.

What I hadn't felt, until today, was proud.

Most of you know that I am bi-racial, the daughter of a Swamp Yankee white mom and an African-America father. Most of you can probably guess that throughout my life I have felt, at varying times, disenfranchised, outcast, threatened, grateful, conflicted, and completely at peace with my racial makeup and everything that comes with it. But it wasn't until this past year, at the age of 40, that I have felt, truly and deeply, that some people just plain old don't like me based on nothing more than the color of my skin, and what it represents to them. This year I took the most important job of my life in a place that I thought would feel familiar to me, only to find that I have had to deal with anger, hatred, rudeness, threatened job security, and even the word "nigger" scrawled in Sharpie on my place of employment, and shouted by patrons at other patrons of color (twice!). To say it's been hard is an understatement.

So maybe that's why, today, as I watched Aretha sing and Obama solemnly swear, I got a little teary-eyed. I was proud that this country elected as President an intelligent, thoughtful, and well-spoken man, a man who happens to be bi-racial, just like me. After months of feeling like I relocated to Alabama and not a beach community in the far Northeast, and a lifetime of feeling like I'm not like anyone else (even though, cognitively, I know that's not true), it was just what I needed.

Congratulations, President Obama!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Well, this should surprise no one...

Your result for The Sex In The Library Test...

Hell yeah.

You scored 81 bookishness and 69 kinkiness!

You love books, you're down with the'd almost definitely have sex in the library. Find a partner, find a good spot...and go for it.

Take The Sex In The Library Test
at HelloQuizzy

Monday, January 5, 2009

Sleep perchance to dream?

Well, I am about to make a fairly major (for us) purchase - a new mattress.

I have not owned a truly new mattress in 10 years - and the last one I bought was a 100 dollar special (and queen size at that, so you can imagine the awesome quality). Since then, my mattresses have been hand-me-downs from friends, family, and freecycle. Our current freecycle mattress was just what Dan and I needed when we moved in together and I could no longer tolerate his pull-out couch, but the reality is that while it's very clean, it's seen better days and provides my fat ass with zero comfort.

You may have heard me metion once or 100 times that I do not sleep. I have not had eight uninterrupted hours of sleep in 20 years - no joke. The last time I had more than three hours sleep in a row, I was in surgery - no joke. Last night I slept for one hour when I went to bed, and two hours this morning. Most nights I wake up a minimum of three times, and if I am very lucky, I fall back to sleep quickly, but most nights I do not, and I lie awake cursing or crying out of exhaustion and frustration. What about drugs? you ask. They do nothing for me. I have tried everything from natural remedies to hard-core tranquilizers - they all put me out, but nothing makes me STAY out. It's maddening.

Lately, I find that I sleep a little better on the couch - which has a foam mattress. A while ago I went into a bedding store and tried one of the tempurpedic-type mattresses and about died - I could have fallen asleep instantly. But do you know what one of those things costs? A grand, if you're lucky, and I don't have a grand.

But tonight, it seems as if Ocean State Job Lot has come to my emotional rescue - their tempurfake-ic mattresses are 30% off, meaning if we live on Ramen for the next two weeks, I could by not only a queen, but a KING! And they offer a 30-day money-back guarantee, so I think this is a win-win. And if a new mattress helps my insomnia even a little bit, I will persoanlly make-out with every single member of the NASA team who helped create this wonder material.

So, dear internet friends - queen or king? A king means I will have to buy new bedding (but I love new sheets so, whatever) and that the bed will take up more of the room - but it also means I don't have to touch my darling husband unless I want to (I like space when I sleep). I think a queen "looks" better, and I wont have to get new sheets or another boxspring.... What do you think? Anyone ever bought a king and regretted it?

Sunday, January 4, 2009

New Hobby


No, I didn't make these...

Saturday, January 3, 2009


Dan and Mom gave me a sewing machine for Christmas, because I had been saying forever that if I had one, I would make curtains (I'm not overly fond of most "commercial" curtains).

Yay! New kitchen curtains!

Thursday, January 1, 2009


Wow, I can't even keep the resolution I made to not make resolutions - so I obviously suck at this.

I was just reading last year's list to see how I did. Lose weight? Nope. Eat less? Nope. Catalog all the books I own? Ha, not even close. Chill the hell out? Uh uh. Take more pictures? Just the opposite. Now, in my defense, I DID get a better job, and that was on the list. But that whole process pretty much blew the rest of the list out of the water. Oh, well.

So, without re-stating the obvious, I guess this year I would just like to be as happy in my life as a whole as I am in my private life with Dan. I'm hoping to make a friend here, because I feel the lack of female companionship almost daily. I would like the work situation to continue to improve (I do have high expectations for this). And I would really like to either find another hobby to devote some time to, or get back into geocaching on a regular basis.

The other stuff? Well, it'll either happen or it won't. Twenty years of vowing to lose weight hasn't done any good, so maybe it's just time to let some of my resolutions go.

Happy New Year - Again

It's one am, and I am, surprise surprise, wide awake! Dan is, naturally, asleep.

Tonight we were talking about last NYE, and the fact that neither of us could remember what we did. I looked it up on the old blog, and found that I was alone that night as Dan had to work both jobs that evening - no wonder we couldn't remember.

We had a very windy snow storm today, so I closed the library early and spent the day at home with Dan. We basically watched tv, cleaned up the house a bit, and had a fabulous steak dinner - we are animals! We were in bed by 11, but stayed awake until midnight, at which point he passed out cold. I would give my right arm to be able to sleep like he does.

So, nothing exciting going on here, just the normal wishes for the coming year. This year certainly has been full - I've had more going on this past year than in the last 5 combined, it seems. And while much of it has been wonderful, there's been plenty of stress. But the stressful parts are improving, and come spring I will be able to shrug off my horrible winter anxiety (my nerves have been awful this winter - the worst they've been in quite some time). I'm fully looking forward to summer in this beautiful (albeit sadly provincial) place.

One thing - no posted resolutions this year (you know what they are anyway - say it with me - "lose weight!" "stop worrying!") - oh wait, I just posted them....

Happy New Year, friends!