Things here are on a downward spiral - which is definitely the wrong direction.
It's 5am and I have been up since 3:30. This is nothing new, really, except rather than it being my normal no-reason-for-it insomnia, I am ruminating about my job. I have been hoping and praying over the last 8 months that things would improve, but it's become increasingly obvious that it's not going to - and it's starting to affect both my mental and physical health. And the worst part is, I'm trapped. I moved my life and my new family here, and I am pretty much the sole financial supporter of this operation. I knew this would be the case going in, but I really and truly did not expect that this job would make me so incredibly miserable. And I don't have any options - I can't "go home," as there is no more work there than there is here, I can't find a job here that will support the rent you have to pay to live here (even with my good salary, we live paycheck-to-paycheck). I simply have to "suck it up"until I find something else, which could takes MONTHS - and I don't know how I am going to do that.
I'm sick over this whole experience.
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3 comments:
Oh, Jessica, I'm really sorry. If you need to vent, you know how to find me.
Stupid rock. Horrible hard place. I'm sorry you're in the middle of them. :(
Man, sorry to hear it. I am going through similar job stress and it isn't fun, even when I just have myself to take care of. I know the insomnia of which you speak. Stomach churning, gasping insomnia.
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